5000 Miles to Fall
by AceandDeuce
Summary: A Sophie Fic, twoshot duringpost Partings. An introspective of Rory and Logan's innermost feelings. Logan felt like he was the culprit in some horrible death sentence...Rory could almost believe he'd stepped out to grab some takeout...almost.
1. This Weak Harness

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hi everyone! Just wanted to add a few things in here before you started reading…this is Ace and Deuce's premiere of writing together, along with our first Gilmore fanfic! We are HUGE Sophie fans, and this idea was Deuce's…me…feeling the need to elaborate during/post Partings…so spoilers if you haven't seen it! The other chapter is written by my partner in crime, Ace. The song's are as follows:

Chapter One: "Shine On" by Jet

Chapter Two: "Ache" by James Carrington

So PLEASE ENJOY, READ, AND OF COURSE…REVIEW!

**DISCLAIMER: **Neither one of us own anything remotely related to Gilmore Girls…we just like to jump in the fictional sandbox and play a little…

_**This Weak Harness **_

_Please don't cry_

_You know I'm leaving here tonight_

_Before I go I want you to know_

_That there will always be a light_

Logan knew he shouldn't wake her. It would be a hell of a lot easier to walk out those doors without her looking up at him, those big blue eyes welled with tears. He knew she'd cry; hell, he was a wreck of emotions without her even awake.

But there'd be tears. A lot of tears. And it was gonna take a lot of willpower to walk away from those tears.

As of right now, he hated his father. He was an asshole, with some twisted frame of mind if he thought that Logan was going to London on his own freewill. Oh no. It didn't matter though; no matter how loud Logan yelled, how much he rebelled, or how many stories of scaffolding he jumped off of, he couldn't shake the name: Huntzberger.

Who knew one word could throw such a sucker punch? Nobody told him to read the fine print when he was born that said he would have to shoulder the "Huntzberger" enterprise; that he would have to trudge in the footsteps of the media mogul, that he would have to abandon his girlfriend for a year to go sit in an office in stuffy suits and ties in London.

Rory. He looked down at her sleeping form, curled in the fluffy white comforter, looking peaceful and serene. And he was going to ruin it with one shake, one nudge, one whisper. And he'd ask her not to cry, not to be sad, but that was an impossible task on her part, he was absolutely sure. There was no smirk that would fix this, no witty remark he could make to keep a smile on her face…this was it. He was going to leave, he was going to get on the plane, and she would be here. Alone. It sucked. It sucked, and he couldn't see anything good coming out of this.

Closing his eyes, Logan ran a hand tiredly over his face, through his blond locks. God, he loved her. He really loved her; head over heels, can't eat, can't sleep…the whole shebang. He could not believe he felt this way; Logan '_this generation's Hugh Hefner, and on top of that a commitment phobe' _Huntzberger had fallen in love.

She had said it to him, and he'd been shellshocked, unable to actually respond to her. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to, didn't know if he really did love her. But he was fooling himself. _**Look, I've told a lot of girls that I love them before and I didn't mean it. So, I'm not going to do that to you.** _

Yeah, that hadn't been one of his smoothest moments, but he couldn't believe that lie had slipped so easily from his lips. He wanted to scream to her that he loved her, that he absolutely couldn't be without her, didn't want to be. Rory had become his…he didn't know exactly how to describe it, probably because he'd never felt like this with any other girl. He needed her, wanted her with him all the time, and when she wasn't there, all he ever did was think about her. He couldn't stay angry at her, didn't want to, because for him, that meant one more minute where he wasn't with her.

He'd asked her at the party she threw, the London themed party she threw, for any excuse to stay. _**Tell me not to go. Tell me not to get on that plane. Tell me to blow off my father, the paper, the whole Huntzberger destiny. Just tell me I can figure something else out. Just tell me not to go.** _Not that he hadn't already run through every single scenario he could fathom, trying to come up with his own reasons, his own excuses; he had. And he'd only come up with one: Rory.

All she had to do was say that tiny sentence, utter those two words, and he'd never leave. He'd rebel and tell his father to screw it and he would stay. Rory would be his saving grace, his last hope, his rescue team.

But she didn't; she knew better. She was smart, too smart for him; he didn't even have to look at her to know that wasn't what was going to come out of her mouth. _**Well, I can't do that**. _And just like that, all hope of getting out of his hell of a life was gone. And Rory…she looked so heartbroken after she'd said it, he almost wished he wouldn't have asked. Because he saw it in her eyes- she had wanted to say it. She wanted to tell him not to go, and she wouldn't. Couldn't. He wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was going.

Rubbing his eyes, his fingers came away slightly damp. _Damn…and she's not even up._ With a last glance at her ethereal form, he moved slowly to the side of the bed, his fingers reaching for her shoulder. And he uttered the one thing sure to wake her. **_"Rory?"_**

_And if the moon had to run away_

_And all the stars didn't wanna play_

_Don't waste the sun on a rainy day_

_The wind will soon blow it all away, yeah_

It was only going to be a year. One year. Twelve months, Three hundred and sixty five days…however many minutes that was. And it was going to be a lifetime. But it was only a year. A year, then he could come back, it would all be behind him, it would all be behind both of them, and he could go back to the way things were, be back with Rory. Waking up with Rory, drinking coffee with Rory. Only a year. Twelve months. Three hundred and sixty five days. One lifetime.

Logan felt like he was the culprit in some horrible death sentence, condemned to climb in the car that was patiently waiting for him in front of the apartment. And this was his death march. He was facing down the executioner- had been for quite a few years at Yale- but he couldn't run any more. No amount of Huntzberger charm, smirks, or cash could pull him out of the mess he'd been tangled in since he could walk. He had the proof- the plane ticket in his jacket pocket. He was bagged, suited, and ticketed to the sentence.

Logan vaguely thought back to the LBD event he'd dragged Rory to last year. No, not vaguely…he remembered every detail. Because it was the best event he'd ever participated in, ever led. He remembered what he told her when she refused to climb up the scaffolding and jump with him; words meant to inspire courage and life into her safe little world. _**It'll be fun, it'll be a thrill.** **Something stupid, something bad for you. Just something different. Isn't this the point of being young? It's your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up there with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived.** _He had been right, he'd judged her correctly, and she'd marched up there him. And he hadn't felt quite so anxious, quite so nervous, quite so wishing that they had actually really tested the harnesses before deciding the go ahead with the stunt.

_He felt the same feelings now, except he was standing at the top of the scaffolding alone. With the wimpy harness wrapped around his waist and clutching the damn umbrella like it'll somehow save him once he takes the dive. And he can see Rory down on the ground below him. She's the only one there; the other Life and Death Brigaders aren't- Finn's not there, Colin's not there, Stephanie's not there- just Rory. And she's staring at him with those big eyes, and he can see the tears sparkling against her skin in the sunlight, and he wants so badly to jump off but he can't because he knows that harness won't hold him. That, and he's scared. Yep; plain, old, scared. Something he's surely never said in his entire life, to himself or anyone else. Logan Elias Huntzberger, daredevil of Yale, is absolutely terrified. _

_So many times I planned_

_To be much more than who I am_

_And if I let you down_

_I will follow you 'round until you understand_

_**You were not to be here! You were supposed to be on a red-eye to London last night! I have a room full of colleagues, some of which have come from other bureaus to meet you, and you blow it off to be with your little girlfriend! You embarrassed me! You embarrassed yourself!** _Mitchum's words still rang in his head. An embarrassment. Was that really who he was? He never felt like one, unless he was standing in front of his father, but even then, it was more defiance than embarrassment. But with Rory, it was completely different.

He never felt embarrassed with Rory, never felt the need to change who he was. Had he changed though? He didn't feel like it. He still felt alive, adventurous, reckless even. Hell, he'd proved that when he'd insanely, albeit a little foolishly, jumped off that cliff in Costa Rica. That part of him was what still reared its head. But then there was that other part, the part he kept looking at with surprise and confusion, like he didn't really recognize it- probably because he'd really never felt it. It was foreign. It was that part that felt the odd flutter every time he laid eyes on Rory Gilmore. That part that had browsed engagement rings when he'd picked up Rory's (and coincidentally Lorelai's) Valentine's Day present. That part that made every inch of his body ache and scream for her when she wasn't there. That part that practically roared that she was "The One".

He was planning things in his mind- what their wedding would be like, where he would take them for their honeymoon…- it was all foreign, and all a real possibility for him. In fact, in the presence of all honesty, he would even admit that he wanted it, craved it; the way it made him feel, the terrifying thrill he got from it. And that feeling, that insatiable need for Rory, was not the Logan Huntzberger everyone else knew; or he knew.

But oddly enough, when Rory had come pounding on his door, wanting to end it with him because she was a 'girlfriend girl'…well, that was the side that reared its head. Maybe it was the fact that Logan Huntzberger had never had a girl break up with him, and he felt sure that Rory Gilmore wasn't going to start that tradition. Hell, they weren't even dating then, or assumed an exclusive relationship; it was supposed to be casual. _**Maybe we can just go back to being friends again.** _Oh, that's right; he was handed the friend card- a free pass, a 'get out of jail' card- but he didn't take it. Instead, he vaguely remembered the words coming out of his mouth, though they sounded foreign. _**I'll be your boyfriend. If I say I can, then I can.** _Boy, he had no idea what the hell he was getting himself in to. It was harder than he thought; the words, "Rory Gilmore- my girlfriend" weren't conjured up automatically.

He remembered Rory's face when he'd had to say it to Honor; she'd almost laughed at how he'd stumbled over the words. **_You okay over there? You need a little water, or a time machine? _**But then…something changed. Maybe he did change. Being Rory's boyfriend became easy, second nature…and what was more- he liked it. He liked introducing himself as her boyfriend, liked the exclusiveness of it. But then…the bridesmaids.

Holy crap, had he screwed that one big time. Literally. The disappointment, the hurt, the betrayal on Rory's face after Honor's wedding physically pained him. He didn't mean to upset her. Honestly. He didn't know they weren't together…he'd been honest with her when he told Rory that. And he was lonely, and he missed her, and he needed something to fill that void where she was supposed to be, but it didn't work. She'd left, she'd walked out, leaving him alone in Honor's dressing room. And he'd followed.

He gave her space until she made it to Paris', then he followed, unable to accept an end to their relationship. And he thought they'd worked things out; she'd said she was fine, that she understood. But there was something wrong with her. Something was off, but he'd let it go. Left it alone.

She'd gotten so mad about the LDB trip, and he truthfully wanted to hear none of it. That was going to be the big finale, the icing on his Yale life, one more reckless stunt before he was relegated to a life of business meetings and office hours. And then, he'd gone and almost gotten himself killed. But she'd still shown up. And she still loved him. And she'd yelled at his dad. And she loved him. She got it, and she forgave him, and she loved him.

_God, Colin and Finn would probably rush me back to the emergency room if they even had an inkling, claiming that surely I had something wrong in the head. _So, had he changed? No, he didn't think he had. But was he changing? Maybe…and maybe, it wasn't so bad.

_That if the moon had to run away_

_And all the stars didn't wanna play_

_Don't waste the sun on a rainy day_

_The wind will soon blow it all away, yeah, oh yeah_

"_**Logan?"** _ That one word nearly broke his heart. He all but begged her to stay in bed, not to get up, because that would be easier. But Rory bounded up like she'd been shot, ready to take on the airport in her pajamas. **_My bag's already in the car._ **Translation for, please don't get out of that bed, because you're making this really hard. Her face looked so bewildered, so crushed, when she finally realized that he was really going.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her as she scrambled from the bed. Those tears were coming, he knew it. **_I have to say good-bye._** She sounded so deflated, and Logan felt his jaw clench as he looked into her tear-filled blue eyes. _**Rory, no.** _Because saying good-bye was going to be too much, much too much.

_**If you come with me, I won't get on the plane.** _She looked so crushed that he didn't want her there, but he couldn't take much more of this. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to go…and he was sure that he definitely wouldn't go if she was there, staring at him with that doe-eyed, fragile, chin trembling face. And then, she started to cry. To really cry.

And she was rambling on and on about seeing William and Harry and he was falling apart at the seams. _**I love you, Ace**. _The four little words that spilled from his lips as he kissed her had never felt more right, more honest. And she was crying; he could taste the salt on his lips. He wanted to hold her and to hug her and to kiss her, crawl back into bed and not ever leave her crying. It wasn't fair. He couldn't walk out on her, not now.

_**I have to go.** _The words sounded so flooded with emotion, he was surprised at himself. But only for a second, because it shouldn't have been a surprise; this was Rory standing in front of him, this was the love of his life, standing in his apartment, sobbing. And so, he did the only thing he knew, the one thing he knew he had to do, right now, before he backed out; he turned and walked out of the door.

_When the days all feel the same_

_Don't feel the cold or wind or rain_

_Everything will be okay_

_We will meet again one day_

_And I will shine on, for everyone_

Logan could put on the bravest face he could muster, he could hold back the tears and stand tall when he was in the apartment. He could manage to look like he wasn't as devastated as he was. He had to cover the shattered emotions; Rory didn't deserve to have to put back together those pieces.

No, he'd hold them together with Elmer's glue, just long enough to look whole. He almost smiled at how good of an actor he was becoming. But he didn't, because he realized that if he looked back, all Rory would have to do would be to look in his eyes, and he'd be a dead giveaway. His whole charade, his act would have been for nothing.

Rory told him he wore everything in his eyes. **_Logan has the most expressive eyes. _**That's what she told her mom.

He wanted all of this to be worth something, to have served a purpose. He wanted her to shine. To excel. To not dwell on the fact that he's not there. He'd be doing enough of that for both of them. No, he wanted her to keep working, keep striving for her goals. She wasted too much time away from Yale; he wasn't going to be another hurdle for her to waver over. He wanted her to be big, to be a fabulous journalist, to win a Pulitzer Prize when she's a senior at Yale…because that's what she wants. So he'd be strong so she would be too.

_So please don't cry_

_Although I leave you here this night_

_Where I go, how far, I don't know_

_But I will always be your light_

He'd managed to make it all the way down the hall to the elevator without glancing back, his fingers holding a death grip on the cane in his hand. He heard the door open, heard Rory's soft sobs floating down the hallway, and right then, he almost turned around and ran back to her…well, hopped back to her, because it'd be faster to just hop back than to struggle with the damn broken leg.

He willed himself not to turn around, not to look at her, as he pressed the button for the elevator. He was going to London. He was going across an ocean, a continent away from Rory. Five thousand miles away from Rory. Away from Rory. Then, the elevator doors opened.

This was it. He would step in, those doors would close, and he would lose sight of the one good thing that ever happened to him. _But there was hope, _he thought as he stepped into the elevator …_she still loved him. _

_Then if the moon had to run away_

_And all the stars didn't wanna play_

_Don't waste the sun on a rainy day_

_The wind will soon blow it all away, yeah, oh yeah_

He turned. And he realized, too late, he should have never turned around.

_When the days all seem the same_

_Don't feel the cold or wind or rain_

_Everything will be okay_

_We will meet again one day_

_I will shine on, for everyone_

_Shine on, for everyone_

Logan hadn't remembered crying since he was maybe three or four. His sister, Honor, had broken one of his toy trucks, and he'd started crying, wailing, holding the pieces in his chubby little hands. And then his dad had showed up and told him that Huntzberger men didn't cry and that he'd buy Logan another truck, so he'd better stop crying and act like the tough kid he'd raised.

Yeah, that was about the last time he'd cried. Until now. When he brought his gaze up from the floor, finally deciding that she was way more interesting than the laces of his boot, he felt his jaw stiffen, then tremble slightly. Rory waved meekly, tears streaming down her cheeks, leaning hard against the doorframe as if she couldn't' support her own weight, and all he could manage was to nod. It was either nod or bolt to her, but he felt glued to his spot on the elevator.

_I love you, Ace. _Those words played over and over in his mind as he vaguely heard the elevator doors shutting. He hoped, prayed that she could read his mind, because he was unable to form words at this very moment. His Elmer's glue job was failing him miserably. He had to look away from her, he should look away from her, but he didn't. He couldn't.

He watched her sob, watched her straighten slightly as if she'd try to be just as brave as he is pretending to be, and a small wave of pride raced through him. He refused to tear his eyes away until the wooden panels of the elevator slid shut. And then, once the doors finally closed, and he felt the floor shift slightly as the elevator began to move, Logan Huntzberger cried.

_When the stars all look the same_

_Don't feel the cold or wind or rain_

_Everything will be okay_

_We will meet again one day_

_I will shine on, for everyone_

_Shine on for everyone_

Logan hardly acknowledged Frank as he opened the door to the car. He was too busy trying to ignore the tears that had dampened his sleeve from wiping his eyes and were still blurring his vision.

_So, here he was. He was standing on the edge of the scaffolding, umbrella bending under the death grip he had on it, the harness still just as unsafe and untested and still as weak. And he was still just as scared to take the jump. But something felt different, something was different. Logan could sense someone else's presence on the scaffolding, could feel it rocking under his feet from the weight of another person. He turned, ready to face whomever it was, his 'fight or flight' response kicking in overdrive. Then, he spotted the flying curl of reddish brown hair popping up over the top of the ladder_. _And he felt the familiar flutter in his stomach, the familiar smirk begin to creep across his lips. Rory. There was Rory, stunning in the tasteful blue formal gown he'd picked out, climbing the last step of the ladder and straightening in front of him. She looked just as nervous as he was. Then, she smiled. She grinned, more like it, her eyes bright with thrill and excitement and love. Tilting her head, she picked up the dress, moving to stand next to him on the edge of the platform. She reached down, retrieving an umbrella, then glanced over at him. **You jump, I jump, Jack.** Those five words, meant to be an offhand joke to release some of the nervous energy, offered the opposite effect; Logan felt, for the first time since he'd been up there, a wave of confidence. **Ready, Ace?** She smiled at him, like she understood that he was way beyond talking about just the jump. But she didn't hesitate. Grasping his hand, they jumped- together. _

Logan sighed as he watched New Haven fly by in a blur of color outside the car window. And for the first time since he could remember, far enough back to where he could forget about London, and his dad, and the company, he felt a wave of confidence. He knew. He knew that things would work out, that they would be alright. He knew it before he even walked out of the apartment. He knew it before Rory started sobbing about saying hi to William and Harry, as she protested going to the airport shoeless…he knew, because he loved her. And the feelings were returned.

Nothing else mattered; not the job, or his dad, or his name…Everything would be okay. They would be okay. The harness was weak, but he had Rory, and they would jump together.

FIN


	2. This Faulty Parachute

**_This Faulty Parachute_**

_Isn't it strange,_

_The way things can change?_

_Life that you lead_

_Turned on its head._

She stood there at the door to their apartment and watched the elevator doors close. With that small, everyday movement, Logan was gone.

Tears streaked down Rory's face and she knew that the painful clenching she felt in her chest was her heart breaking. She'd had guys break up with her before; she remembered vividly what that felt like, and true, he hadn't broken up with her, something she was totally grateful for. But the feelings that weighed her entire body down now were nothing compared to that.

Damn Mitchum… He didn't have to send him away, away from his friends, away from her… His rationale made sense: **_I'm sending Logan away for one reason, because it is time. It is time for him to stop jumping out of planes in a gorilla mask, and crashing boats, and getting plastered every night, and ending up in the hospital. Its time for him to stop being a child and to start being a man. Its time for him to start focusing on his future, and the only way he's going to do that is to get him out of his environment, and away from those dopes, Colin and Finn, and the Life and Death Brigade, and get him on a path._****** She hadn't been able to disagree with anything that he said, at first. He'd talked about how talented Logan was, something else Rory couldn't disagree with, and how he needed to put that to good use. Mitchum was giving him a push.

But she and Logan hadn't talked about how they were going to get through this. Hell, they hadn't even talked about it, not even that much last night, knowing what this day would bring. She… she needed more time; they needed more time to talk, more time to figure out what they were going to do, how this was going to work. She needed a plan, some sort of logical, rational, orderly idea about how they were going to survive a year apart.

He couldn't really be gone. Rory waited, seeing the lit numbers above the elevator doors count down, carrying Logan down to the lobby. She could almost see him reach the lobby and walk past the doorman to the waiting car, climb inside and be whisked off to the airport. Logically, she knew that standing there, seeing the numbers change from 3 to 2 to 1 to L wasn't going to cause him to magically appear back in the apartment. She knew that nothing was going to bring him back up that elevator.

_Swiping away more tears, she suddenly thought about what it must have felt like for Logan to be falling off that cliff in Costa Rica. But instead of hitting the ground, Rory was standing on top of that cliff, getting ready to leap off, not knowing if her parachute was going to work or not. She couldn't see the bottom, if there was one, didn't even know if one existed. All she could see was the huge, gaping chasm before her, could feel her hands sweating, and knew, somehow, that there was no one around to jump with her, that she was gonna hit the bottom or fall forever. And she was terrified._

Blinking, Rory saw that the elevator was moving again, going up to the fourth floor before heading back down. And she knew he was gone. Turning around in the doorframe, Rory looked at the expanse of the apartment before her, still baring the evidence of the London party last night.

_Suddenly someone_

_Means more than you felt before._

_House and its yard turns into home._

All Rory could think at that moment was how empty and huge this place felt without Logan in it. She pushed the door together behind her, closing herself in. Leaning back against the door, she stared at the furniture, at the pictures, the mementos from Life and Death Brigade events, parties, gifts given to each other, items bought together. But the warmth that had held it all together was absent.

Unthinkingly, Rory crossed to the closet, opening the end that held all the clothes he had left behind. She touched his tuxedo from the first LBD event that he'd taken her to. A hint of a smile touched her face, remembering his words to her about jumping off the scaffolding. **_It'll be fun, it'll be a thrill. Something stupid, something bad for you. Just something different. Isn't this the point of being young? It's your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up there with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived._** And she'd jumped. Any other person could have asked her to do that and she would have told them that they were crazy, that, no thank you, she would keep her feet on the ground. But Logan Huntzberger could look at her with those big, expressive, chocolate colored eyes and she was a gonner.

Another tear traced a path down her face as she moved past his nice, fancy dress clothes until she hit a shelf where he had a stack of t-shirts. Grabbing one, she held it to her face, breathing in the completely unique smell that she knew was only his. She glanced at the bed… No, she couldn't go back there yet.

Instead, she walked to the couch, dropping onto it, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in Logan's shirt. If she closed her eyes and imagined real hard, she could almost believe that he had stepped out to get some take out, that she was just waiting on him to walk back through that door with pizza and Chinese and junk food for a movie night, his patent smirk in place, guaranteed to earn him at least one kiss before getting into the food. She could almost believe he wasn't on a plane to London. Almost…

_Sorry but I meant to say_

_Many things along the way._

_This one's for you…_

Rory should have told him not to go. She should have told him that she needed him to stay with her, that she had no idea how badly she needed him near. Even in the middle of the party that she'd planned last night, he'd been somber, not his usual Logan sense of humor and enthusiasm.

When he'd first spoken, she thought she was hearing her own thoughts aloud. **_Tell me not to go._** His voice was low and sad and there was a hopeless tone in it that she'd never heard before. She'd blinked at him, owlishly, before he kept going. **_Tell me not to go. Tell me not to get on that plane. Tell me to blow off my father, the paper, the whole Huntzberger destiny. Just tell me I can figure something else out. Just tell me not to go._** For a second, she couldn't breathe. The only thing that she wanted to do was to do exactly what he asked, to beg him not to leave her.

But she couldn't do that, couldn't ask him to give up his family, everything that could give him a future that was perfect for him, where so many doors were already opened and waiting for him to walk through. As much as it hurt, she didn't want him to give anything up for her. So she had told him that she couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear.

But, now, hours later, Logan was gone and she knew… she knew she should have told him not to go.

_Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache? _

_Have I told you I ache for you?_

And that thought alone made her break out in uncontrollable sobs again.

_Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache? _

_Have I told you I ache for you?_

She wiped her tears on her sleeve, sitting up from where she curled up in a ball on the couch. Pulling herself to her feet, Rory carefully folded Logan's t-shirt and sat it almost reverently on the cushion next to her.

Mechanically, she began to clean the room up from where they'd left the disaster from the party. She emptied cups, tossing them into a garbage can, collecting anything that needed to be thrown away, moving back and forth to the can, filling the bag up. If she kept moving, maybe she wouldn't have to think about the fact that he wasn't here. That he wasn't coming back for a year. She wouldn't have to think about the giant pain where her heart used to be.

Instead, she thought about the ultimatum she'd given him. She hadn't meant it to be an ultimatum, but she just couldn't do the casual thing anymore, the "no strings" thing that she'd offered him to begin with. But when she'd told him, he'd surprised her. **_I'll be your boyfriend. If I say I can, then I can._** And he had never questioned it again.

True, Rory wasn't honestly sure that she was completely over the bridesmaids' incident. She didn't know how long it would take to move past that. But she could say with certainty that the moment she'd heard Logan was in the hospital, all the anger that she'd been holding against him had flown out the window.

All that she'd been able to think was that Logan was hurt; she didn't know how badly, she didn't know anything else. And nothing else mattered. Hell, he hadn't even had time to heal completely before he had to… Rory was back where she'd started again.

The apartment was mostly put to rights and she was back to remembering that Logan was gone, that he was on his way to London, that he was going to be 5000 miles away from her for a year.

_The time that it took_

_Writing words for my book_

_Seems to have broken off._

_The gate that I shut_

_Last time I got hurt_

_Seems to have opened itself._

The apartment was quiet, practically silent. Rory picked the t-shirt back up again, returning it to the closet. She hadn't wanted to fall in love with Logan Huntzberger. That had never been the plan.

And she couldn't definitively say when it had happened. Maybe it was when he'd first started arguing with her. Maybe it was the first time he'd called her Ace. She had no idea why she'd volunteered to fork over her research for him to write his article with. Maybe she fell in love with him when he blindfolded her and talked her into jumping off that scaffolding with him. Maybe it was when he took care of her after Dean broke up with her in front of all those people at the Male Yale party.

Whenever it had happened, it had never been the plan; she had never expected it. It had sideswiped her, knocking her for a loop. But regardless of when it had happened, it was truer at this moment than it had ever been.

Swallowing, she entered the kitchen, filling a large glass up with water and taking a couple aspirin from the cabinet to try to sooth her aching head from the tears that continually threatened to overwhelm her. Rory leaned against the sink, taking a deep breath. When she'd told him she loved him, he'd been honest. **_Look, I've told a lot of girls that I love them before and I didn't mean it. So, I'm not going to do that to you._** And she'd been okay with that.

But somewhere along the way, something had changed. She had felt the change and she knew that he had and that it probably freaked him out. He didn't do relationships. Especially after she had shown up at the hospital, she could see in his eyes that their relationship had moved further than he knew how to deal with.

_Oh the world its spinnin' now,_

_Trying to catch me up._

_Tell me to appreciate the here and now._

Then he'd woken her up this morning, just by saying her name. Not Ace, just a quiet, **_Rory_**.

She knew she'd said his name, had tried to climb over the bed, rambling something about trying to get shoes and a coat to take him to the airport. She'd heard him say something about his bag being in the car, but she'd brushed it off, still scrambling to her feet. His next statement, murmured almost painfully, had stopped her dead in her tracks. **_Rory, no._**

She'd tried to convince him to let her come, saying something about she had to see him off. He'd countered with a comment about not being able to get past security, and she'd tried one more time, telling him she'd see him off from the metal detectors. He'd looked into her eyes, his chocolate ones filled with pain and sorrow and, from somewhere, a gentle kind of strength or at least determination. **_If you come with me, I won't get on the plane._** And she'd known it was true. Maybe that was what had brought tears to her eyes. Once they started, Rory couldn't stop them from turning into full out crying.

He'd told her things about the apartment, about the car service, things that sounded very much like things that she would ramble to him about. Blinking back the memories for a moment, Rory squared her shoulders and turned around, looking at the big bed in the corner. One last deep breath later, she crossed back over to it, pulling back the comforter and crawling in.

_I'm sorry but I meant to say_

_Many things along the way._

_This one's for you…_

Breathing in, she grabbed Logan's pillow, holding it to her. Only from the comfort of this spot could she think about their last few moments together. He'd asked her what, although she wasn't sure what he was asking about. **_I keep trying to think of fabulous things to say, but all I can think is, "Say hi to William and Harry for me."_** Quite possibly one of the most dumb things that could have come out of her mouth at that moment. Certainly not her brightest statements or the most appropriate. But it had made Logan smile. **_I love you, Ace._**

Hearing him say that had made her heart leap. And managed to almost render her completely speechless at the same time. She'd even tried to smile back at him while tears continued to stream down her face. **_That's so much better than, "Say hi to William and Harry for me."_** He'd kissed her again. She knew that they'd both tasted her tears in a kiss that felt too much like goodbye.

He'd held her close, touching her, and she'd tried to be completely in the moment, soaking up enough of him to last until they saw each other again. She memorized his mouth, how his face felt beneath her hands, the touch of his hands on her skin. Then he pulled away. **_I have to go._** And he left.

She'd followed him to the door and watched him walk away, leaning on the cane, climbing onto the elevator. Face flushed from crying, she'd waved weakly as the doors had closed. But the look on his face had pained her, the hopelessness, the sadness, the… he looked so lost. Rory held the pillow tighter to her, trying to keep herself from starting to cry again.

_Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache? _

_Have I told you I ache for you?_

Why couldn't she come up with anything better to say to him, to the man she was in love with, than **_"Say hi to William and Harry for me"_**? What kind of goodbye is that? He told her he loved her and she told him that. Taking a deep breath, Rory reminded herself that he knew how she felt, he knew how much she loved him. A smile crept onto her face. They loved each other. They could make it through this. It would be okay. They would be okay.

_Have I told you I ache? Have I told you I ache? _

_Have I told you I ache for you?_

Cuddling up to Logan's pillow, Rory snuggled further down into the bed. She would be okay. One year. 52 weeks. 365 days. 525, 600 minutes. Plus or minus. She loved Logan. Logan loved her. True, they didn't have a plan, but they had each other.

_And she was back on the cliff in Costa Rica again. The chute on her back still made her completely uncertain about this leap. The chasm in front of her was still dark, deep, and terrifying. But a hand slipped into hers, curling around it, fingers lacing threw hers. Rory's turned to look at the man who stood beside her. A perfect smirk graced Logan's face, lighting up his expressive brown eyes. He looked confident, composed, and excited. Smiling back at him, she took a deep breath. **You jump, I jump, Jack.** His smirk transformed into a full out smile, his hand gave hers a tight squeeze, lifting it to his lips to brush them across her knuckles before dropping it back to their sides. **Ready, Ace?**_

She glanced around the apartment. It didn't matter that she wasn't sure if there was a bottom to the darkness they were going to jump into. It didn't matter that she wasn't sure if her chute was going to open. She believed in Logan, she trusted him, and she knew that, even if everything about the next year would be uncertain, she had Logan. They had love. And, parachute or no parachute, they would make it through this… together.

FIN


End file.
